Category Archives: psychology

Reflections of a almost five year old on Fairy Tales

I have recently introduced Migu to popular fairy tales and now our bed time reading as well as meal time stories are generally Cinderella, Rapunzel, Snow White and Sleeping Beauty.

As I have blogged in the past,here and here  Migu does not like to consume stories in a docile way. She has to constantly comment or critique a story. So this is how our story telling session on Snow White went.

Snow White had a step mother who had a magic mirror.

Migu : Wow step mother and magic. Is she like the fairy godmother? Will she wave her want?

Me : Well, no step mother and fairy godmother are different, sort of very opposite to each other. Will you let me continue?

As I continue we come to the bit about the mirror.

Me : The step mother asked the mirror, “Mirror, Mirror on the Wall, who is the fairest of them all?”

Migu : Wait, wait, I am the mirror, you are step mother, now ask me.

Me: Ok, Mirror Mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?

Migu : Goldilocks

Me : Not Goldilocks, Snow White.

Migu : But that day you told me Golilocks was also beautiful.

Me : Never minds, its another story. Can we continue.

After some time, as we come to the bit about Snow White falling after eating the apple

Me : How do you think she revived?

Migu : How? How?

Me : A handsome prince came and saw Beautiful Snow Whites Body. When he kissed her, she revived.

Migu : Thats not fair. Thats what happened to Sleeping Beauty. You are simply saying this.

Me : No that is the story.

Migu : Why is it always the prince?

Me : I dont know, can I continue?

Migu : Ok

Me : The prince and Snow White got married and lived in a castle

Migu : No, that is what happened to Rapunzel

Me : So its a different prince, and it was perfectly OK for him to marry Snow White.

Migu : Getting irritated, there is always a prince (She said it in Tamil, so all who follow Tamil can truly understand the impact of a line like Eppopathalum Prince, Eppopathalum Prince.

After some time,

Migu : I dont like these stories, I only like Red Riding Hood.

Me : Why

Migu : There is no prince, only a wolf.

The Feminist in Me : You go girl, yes you dont need a prince.

Like I have written before, I didnt really question any story while growing up. I dont not always fantasize about a life similar to the one which I was reading about, but I accepted it and never thought to challenge their choices. I am glad Migu is growing up, questioning stories, and maybe unconsiously breaking stereotypes and challenging possibilities and choices.

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A to Z Blogging Challenge : O is for Obedience from Children

A to Z Blogging Challenge Apr 17 O

 

I guess every ones model parent is someone who does not demand blind obedience from the child but is always patient and reasonable and expects the child to buy into an argument. While this is perhaps feasible with a slightly older child, having a toddler means there are times when you just want some obedience and to hell with reasons. There are times when I just want to tell her, you need to do that because I say so. Well of course, when I did try telling her that, she replied serenely, “I will say no.”

 

I know it is wrong to compare kids, but somehow whenever I am in company I used to compare my daughters obedience levels with the other kids, and she pretty much came out in the bottom all the time. I realized even then that if I wanted more obedience, I may have to trade it in with certain other traits of hers which I admire, her independence, her sportiness and general non fussy behavior.

 

Things did go bad enough that I almost used to publicly declare her disobedience, and every time something went wrong suspected that she was at fault. Probably at three Migu is too young to resent me for that, but I realized very soon that other kids started using my behavior to gang up against her. Thus I would hear constant complaints about her even if I was standing right there, and knew she hadnt done anything wrong. I even started having other kids suggesting how I should punish her for her behavior.

 

While this got me to at least stop publicly berating her, I still worried about the lack of obedience. I wondered what she would do in school.  Untill I saw her in football class. That is an activity she enjoys and in that class, I see a distinct attempt to obey what the coach says. She is proud of the stars she gets there, she is proud of her football skills and though she is not a model of obedience, I can see that the coach enjoys having an interested, if slightly aggressive child on board among the other younger children who barely pay attention to football for more than five minutes.

 

These classes are a week old and I dont even want to mention her obedience sometimes wondering if it will jinx it. But I am glad that I witnessed her obedience. It kind of tells me all hope is not lost.

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