A to Z Blogging Challenge : T is for Taken for Granted and what it means in relationships


Taken for granted!! In any intense relationship there is a stage when people take each other for granted. When said that way, it kind of seems like a bad thing to do. We reallly ought not to take our near and dear ones for granted.


Paradoxically, it is definitely this taken for granted phase which proves the depth of the relationship. When my husband complains to me about any specific behavior of mine, I tell him that I do it because I am so comfortable with him. He is the exception to my rule and the fact that he is the exception shows how much I value him. For instance I am very much a hands off person when it comes to managing people, and at work, I expect people to be responsble for themselves and their tasks. I almost certainly dont micro manage. But when it comes to sharing responsiblity with my husband, despite the fact that I hate to be micro managed, I sometimes end up micromanaging him. And when he complains about it, my way of explaining the behavior is that I never would do it to anybody but him. It is as though he is being conferred a special honor by being the recipient of such behavior. His rejoinder is that he would rather be made the exception to face other kinds of behavior which is far more pleasant.


Of course being taken for granted by a person you love is really a privelege. It definitely means you have a meaningful as well as resilient relationship with the person, because every time you end up taking them for granted, you are testing the relationship. And in my own relationship with my husband, the biggest threat we hold over each others head is not that we will walk away or break the relationship, but that we will stop taking each other for granted. It is not even a threat we articulate openly, but if one person is stopping to take the other for granted, that is definitely a sign that something is awry and needs to be discussed.

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