My child weighs perfectly fine, stop bothering me about it

I dont know if this is a uniquely Indian trait. But as a young mother, if you have any social interaction, specially with a slightly older woman out here, the first topic of conversation is that your child has lost weight or is so thin or does not look her age or some other disparging remark about the lack of physical growth of the child. I am experiencing this even more now, because as winter is making way for warmer weather, Migu is shedding layers of clothes, and possibly does look smaller than she did a month or so ago. Of course, this perfectly logical explanation which I give has no takers. 

Doctors have assured me that weight is but an incidental indicator of the child’s growth and one needs to review the development holistically in terms of milestones, rather than just as a single indicator. My logical brain accepts all of this and understands that my daughter does not lack anything.  But I guess one needs to be an Indian young mother to understand the wealth of accusations behind the tone of the older person who says your child is thin. Through those words, they seem to be summing you up, your sheer worthlessness as a mother. It is practically a judgment on your life. If you are not able to cook/coax your child to eat well, you dont have the right to call yourself a mother. 

 The long and short of this is that despite my brain firmly convinced that children know their own bodies best, I see every mealtime as an exam for myself. Meals lack the fun quotient, I am constantly anxious and no matter how much I try to make it fun for Migu, the underlying anxiety shines through. And in my desperation to make her eat something, I may frequently permit behavior, which I may have otherwise indicated to her is not acceptable. In short, I allow her to hold me to ransom, when it comes to eating something. 

So yeah, I am looking for some responses which I can use to an older aunty who ever says my child is too thin. My current stock of responses is low, in fact non-existent. Any ideas out there as to what I can actually say. 

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4 thoughts on “My child weighs perfectly fine, stop bothering me about it

  1. Srividya says:

    🙂 universal problem, there are absolutely no answers, just grin and say yes, she is too thin and ask for advice, makes the aunty feel good and who knows you may actually get good advice

    • divyasarma says:

      The funny thing is sometimes I have heard these very same aunties comment about some other kids, saying the child is too fat and therefore not able to walk or roll or stand up well. Its like there is no pleasing them, when it comes to child weight.

  2. meghanaoza says:

    Just dont bother! Tell them your doctor has said Migu is perfectly fine and you assume the doctor knows more than they do!

  3. […] have blogged earlier about this seeming obsessison which Indian aunties have about a child’s weight and how their comments can make you feel extremely inadequate as a parent. One major consequence of […]

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